Another public service announcement

I've been told that I'll probably die in an incredibly horriffic motorcycle crash. That's probably true, and odds are, my driver's-ed instructor (who has been an EMT and Paramedic working I-70 from Morrison to Evergreen for 20 years) will be peeling me off of the pavement, or pulling me and my bike out of the ditch.

Just to let you know, in Colorado, "ditch" means bottom of steep 200-foot embankment. In most spots along that stretch of road, it's more.

What do you call a young male motorcycle rider, especially on a sportbike (Buells or Japanese crotch rockets)?

An organ donor.

It's true. More than half of all hearts donated in this country come from braindead bikers, under age 25, predominantly male, predominantly sportbike riders (or guys who decided to take their Screamin' Eagle through the mountains--Harleys are cruisers, and when you ask them to do anything else, you're not just flirting with Disaster, you're taking her back to your place for a nightcap). Most of them weren't wearing a helmet.

Odds are, you will fall or lose control, and regardless of any road rash you may get or things you'll crash into (or have crash into you), if you die, you will die of blunt force head trauma. But your major organs will be just fine. That's the way most bikers die: head trauma.

Helmets can't prevent death that way, but they go a very long way towards preventing it. No helmet can prevent death in all situations, but in those situations where the helmet did jack shit, you'd be dead of other injuries. Wear a brain bucket, and odds are, you'll live. It doesn't make you Superman. You can still die a death of your own making, and you can still get run over by a semi.

Colorado has a sensible helmet law. Minors must wear a helmet, period. But once you are legally an adult, it is your life, and your business whether you wear a helmet. That's the way it should be. Not wearing a helmet won't kill anybody but you. It doesn't put anyone else at risk. The law shouldn't get involved in situations like that, and in Colorado, it doesn't.

I'm not here to tell you to ride safely, sanely, or with a helmet on. I'm just telling you two things: don't put other people in danger, and sign an organ donorship card. If you like to go 100 down the highway on your Big Chief 45, that's your business. If you want to take your Scout 101 up Pike's Peak in June to practice for the race, that's your business. If you want to go from Denver to Buena Vista in 45 minutes, by all means, do it. But make sure that you are not even remotely putting anyone else at risk. Families like to drive Pike's Peak. If you come out of the Picnic Area at 120 and even tag their station wagon, it will be worse tha hitting a deer. Hitting a deer in a car can be fatal. Hiting an idiot hellbent on thrills head on, with a closing speed of 150 will kill that idiot on the bike instantly (that's you, asshat). He won't have to suffer. The people in the front seat will probably die on impact. But the kids in the back won't. Oh, don't get me wrong, they'll die. But they'll die of their injuries, slowly, excruciatingly. Help won't get up that mountain in time.

Then when the ambulance does arrive, they will have to search for the wreckage. Don't think that that accident will stay on the road anywhere in the mountains, let alone on the Pike's Peak highway. You will all go off the cliff, down a "hill", and into a ditch. Remember what "ditch" means in Colorado?

Go ahead and take a corner too fast, on flat land or especially in the mountains. Just don't take anyone else with you. Remember that family you hit while you were getting your thrills? It'll be a closed casket funeral. As a matter for fact, for you and the people in the front seat, it will look like you drove over a land mine.

Go ahead and lay it over at 25 over. Go ahead and die a death of your own making. Just don't kill anyone else in the process. And while you're at it, save a life. Donate your organs.

No matter whether you wear a helmet or not, no matter whether you ride reckless or not, if you're on two wheels, check the organ donation box on your driver's license application. Each day, about 77 people receive organ transplants. However, 19 people die each day waiting for transplants that can't take place because of the shortage of donated organs. You are 32 times more likely to die on two wheels than on four. Whether or not you take that risk is up to you, but if you do and one day things go horribly wrong because of something you or some other bonehead did, your organs could save or improve up to 50 lives. Think about that. It's not like you'll be using your body anymore.

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While I'm at it, let me tell you a story. Back in the mid-60s, my uncle was 14, and was riding passenger on a friend's motorcycle. His buddy rode safe and sane, and still got hit. The offending car was about the size of a Ford Fairlane, doing 90 miles an hour, drunk driver at the wheel. I don't think the driver even saw them, or if he did, didn't react.

The feller driving the bike just had some minor road rash. The drunk driver was fine. He t-boned the very back end of the bike. My uncle was thrown 250 feet, landed, and skidded another 50. One of his shoes was at the scene, still tied. The other was 500 feet down the road, also tied. He was wearing a brand-new, extremely puffy vinyl winter coat. That must have cushioned things quite a bit, but not enough. As it was, his whole back got ripped up and little bits of gravel imbedded in it. That wasn't the worst part, though. Think about the forces involed i getting hit, flying at 90 mph 250 feet through the air, then landing (pavement ain't soft, folks) and having enough momentum to skid another 50. Damn right. Paramedics were quick on the scene, and were able to start treatment quickly because someone at the scene could look through all the blood and say "That's Dale Trumbo!" He is now pinned together in three places; his right shoulder, his right leg, and part of his back. He was in a body cast for three months, and in a wheelchair for another six. Only by the grace of God did he survive.

Don't ever, EVER drink and drive, or get in a vehicle with anyone who has been drinking. Even if they're only slightly buzzed. If someone has been drinking, take their keys, call them a cab, or, if you're completely sober, drive them yourself. Do not let them operate a motor vehicle. If you wouldn't hand them a shotgun loaded with double-ought buckshot, don't let them keep their keys.

As a matter of fact, if you are at a party, visiting or hosting, work the door. Take keys as a condition of entry. Even two cans of beer will put a full-size adult over the legal limit for DUI.

And even if you are driving sober, remember this rule: CHECK TWICE, SAVE A LIFE. MOTORCYCLES ARE EVERYWHERE!