The Sons of Silence

S.O.S. is a 1%er motorcycle club. They have a lot of brothers in Colorado Springs, and a fair few in Denver. Just to let you know, 1%er means that they will kill for the club. Don't go being a smartass and disrespecting these guys. I've heard about people who have....

They're the real deal, a lot like the Hells Angels. But while "Hells Angel" is a nationally recognizable phrase, which calls up fear and semi-romanticized ideas, not that many people think of the same thing when they hear "Son of Silence." Don't be too scared, but be wary. Don't get in an S.O.S. brother's way.

Please be informed that not all motorcyclists are 1%ers. That's why they are 1%ers: the AMA issued a statement after an alleged riot, saying that 99% of the American motorcyclist population is generally law-abiding and not out for trouble. But over the years, the general feeling of some bikers being okay guys who will turn the other cheek has kind of backfired: I do try to avoid the 1%er bars, but every now and then we're driving past one and some neophyte is standing way too close to a guy's bike, probably asking something stupid like "Is it a Harley?" or "I've got a Suzuki. It's a hell of a lot faster than this thing." I'm sure by the time he left, that fellow needed to change his shorts, if not worse.

Moral of the story: we 99%ers kind of like it when people flich a bit, then relax. Respect us, but don't piss your pants and run, okay? That said, a lot of 99%ers will deck you if you're being a real asshole, so be warned.

A simple guideline to whether or not you're standing too close to a bike: if you could touch it, bump it, or accidentally kick it (let alone spill something on it), you're too close. Turn your head to sneeze. If it's unattended, don't enter the same parking spot, even to look. Seriously, don't cross the line. Bike theives are lower than dirt, and there are WAY too many things on a bike that could get damaged or stolen. If someone told me that someone was standing next to my bike for a while, especially more than one person, even if I was in the middle of class or fuckin' jury duty at the time, I'd be outside in a flash, talking to them and maybe giving 'em a bit of a scare if they were being jerks.

If the person is right there (for example, they just pulled into the parking lot), ask permission to look at the bike. If they say yes, they'll accompany you the whole time. If you're wondering about whether it's a magneto or a battery ignition, for example, ask as you're walking to the spot you'd need to be to see it. Feel free to crouch, but respect the "if you could touch it..." rule. If you manage to bump something, apologise profusely, but shut up if the guy tells you to. If you'd like to point at something, such as an interesting bit of art paint, or a left-side kickstart, do so from near your body. Whatever you do, don't touch, unless the owner asks you to, such as "Them saddlebags is made of real buckskin. Seven pointer, shot him myself, up near Silverthorne. Go ahead, give it a feel." Then touch lightly, and don't linger. When you're done, back up at least as far as where the rider is standing. Know when to leave.

Rules for show are a little different. Still, don't touch. I hear the last thing Jimmy Hoffa did was touch the wrong guy's vehicle, you dig? Never touch paint, especially if it's unrestored and/or flaking. Never touch chrome: it's a bitch to polish, and if you touch chrome and it gets heated up before the fingerprint is removed with a solvent (such as an exhaust pipe), it will be permanent. Literally, don't drool. I've seen it happen. If there's a rope, stay behind the rope (duh). If there's not a rope, and there are no marked spaces, respect the "touch" rule, but you can get a lot closer if you're very careful and respectful, and, if it's a publiclly judged show and the guy is right there, and/or you have obtained permission, feel free to lean, kneel, crawl, and ask all sorts of questions, as long as you don't actually touch it. If he's brought it to the show, he wants to brag. Give him the opportunity by asking leading questions, like "this exhaust is interesting" or "who did your paint?" Feel free to ask permission to look "up close," then look for little details. Mention a detail or two, like billet vs. braided lines, etc. When you're done, back away, repecting the touch rule again. Feel free to tell stories, but don't be the human sleeping pill. Keep 'em relevant, like "I had a '38 Chief back in the day. Had all sorts of power down low. Once, I put a 19-tooth sproket on it and got it up to 100 out here on 24." That's a whole story. Nobody wants you life story and a full rundown of every bike you've ever owned. Say thanks, and/or complement the vehicle before you leave. A simple "that's neat" or "that's an interesting find" will do, depending on the situation.

This mostly applies to cars, but if you will be leaning over something or walking between close-parked cars (such as at a cruise-in, parking lot, or drive-in theater), put one hand over your belt buckle.