Musicians and other famous women

It's been what, a week and a half, two weeks since I talked about music last? And at least that long since I discussed famous women I like, right? Better fix that.



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Doctor, Doctor!



Morgan Doctor is the drummer for The Cliks. My drum teacher gave me a good piece of advice once: "Work on not just keeping a beat or matching what the original drummer did for a song. Make it your own. Find a groove and actually add to the song's sound. People should be able to just hear you play and tell it's you. Have your own unique sound and interpretation, and even if you're playing the simplest, least technical stuff, it'll be great drumming." Morgan's drum parts on Snakehouse definitely fit that bill. They are at once unique, solid, and ethereal, like good bass or rhythm guitar. Sometimes complex, sometimes simple, she knows when to be silent and when to let rip. I admire her as a musician and an artist. I also happen to think she is incredibly sexy. If you've ever looked at the liner notes from Snakehouse, you know what I mean.



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Well my name isn't Bobby McGee...



Janis Joplin. Need I say more? She was a vibrantly independent woman, truly a child of and shaper of the times in which she lived and died. I believe I'm safe in saying that since she hit it big, nearly everyone who likes girls has had a crush on Janis. Isn't it ironic that she always seemed to have trouble finding a good man? Some believe it was depression over a no-good man leaving her that led to her death. I know that if I'd been in the right place at the right time, I'd have did my damndest to have gotten involved with her, that's for sure. Well, if I wasn't busy chasing Grace Slick.

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Follow the White Rabbit

Which brings me to Grace Slick. Can this gal sing or what? I can't think of anyone else who bends her notes like Grace did in many of the Airplane's songs. It's absolutely entrancing. And it's kind of nice to be able to sing along with a girl and not have to harmonize a few notes lower. Seriously, I only miss two high notes in White Rabbit, compared with most of them if I try and match, say, Janis Joplin or Kaia Wilson. Or Geddy Lee, but to quote Alice Cooper,"he sings like a hamster on helium." I met Grace Slick last year when a local art gallery was showing her paintings. Art-wise, she was good, but not great. Most of them involved white rabbits and/or mushrooms. Or a hookah-smoking caterpillar. I got a kick out of that one. It was the non-song-based work that was the best. She really captured Jim Morrison in one painting. And in another, every single famous person in the Monterey Pop picture was instantly recognizable. Grace was really quite fun to talk to, on a variety of topics. I even managed to keep from doing the dumbstruck-idiot-who-just-met-one-of-his-heroes routine... more than once.

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Don't tell my heart

That is the first and last time I plan on quoting Achy Breaky Heart. I couldn't help it, since I'm talking about Miley Cyrus. She's bright, a great singer, and not a total drama queen. And 100% less creepy than her dad. That's pretty rare on the Disney channel. Did I mention she's also beautiful? And I'm pretty sure she's the only one in this list who's young enough that I wouldn't be jailbait.

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Selena Quintanilla Perez

I was watching TV the other day and a documentary came on about Selena's life, music, and death. It was quite good. I had never heard of her before, but next time I'm at the record store, I'm getting one or two of her albums. She had an amazing voice, and I like her songwriting... even if it took me half an hour with a bilingual dictionary to translate one song. I fail at Spanish. It's really a shame, because it's a much more melodic language than our harsh Germanic base. And as I'm sure you've already noticed, the sexiest women on the planet are Hispanic women.

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Who?

You heard me right, Hillary Duff. Shut up. Hillary, call me.

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More Barrymore!

Everyone has one or two famous people for whom they would drop everything and run off with if said person ever showed up on their doorstep. Drew Barrymore (especially if she was with the rest of the Angels) is on that list. She's a good actress, and drop-dead gorgeous.

Why is there no such thing as a bachelor's in photo airbrushing, with a minor in human forms?

Alright, who's the idiot in charge of the airbrush? Seriously. I've seen better airbrush skills on the side of coal cars. You're going to airbrush her face, but only her face? How do you explain the shadow snafu on Ms. June 24? It's obvious that the in-house image editing involves some stage where the pictures are sent around in a state of high-loss compression. What is up with these image artificts?

I know, you're wondering why I'm stressing about details like this. Well, I'm a little bit OCD, and a more than a little bit nerdy, and image-editing is a bit of a hobby of mine. So here's this week's geek quota.

But really, whoever you are, permission to use Photoshop revoked. Learn to use an actual (as in zomg-real-wrld) airbrush.

I could talk about the women in these photos, but I really think I'd just be stating the obvious. So it's one of those things where the quote "You look at that picture and the glasses bother you? How about he two sailors in assless chaps? Did you notice them, Bill?" applies pretty well. So on that note, please observe that there are some pretty rockin' pinstripes on Ms. June 30's shoes, there's probably a cheap import car parked behind Ms. June 14 (why hasn't anyone like her walked into the local soda fountain lately?), the picture of Ms. June 26 was probably taken on a slightly raised stage, if not on a tile floor, someone needs to get a better camera that won't royally screw up the photo like June 16, the camera's dynamic response on Ms June 28's black vest is phenomenal, the lighting effects on and behind Ms. July 2 (perfectly out of focus, diffused light sourcing) are great, Ms July 4 (period. Ms. July 4. What words can apply?), please explain the pseudo-bun Ms. July 6 is sporting, and Ms. July 8 is posing with a really awesome Rich bass. Notice all of those details? Good, now you have my permission to go back to just plain staring.

P.S. nice hair highlights on Ms. June 22, Mr. Airbrush-No-Talent. Really, it's good.

Obama Girl

Let's talk about Obama Girl for a second, here. All ya'll know me, you know where I'm going with this. I can guarantee you, this will have absolutely NOTHING to do with politics.

Ever watch the Dukes of Hazzard? Remember Daisy Duke's shorts? Of course you do. Unfortunately, way too many people went out and bought cutoff denim shorts. People who shouldn't be wearing short shorts. But, boy howdy, is Obama Girl qualified.

I should probably metnion something about that song, other than the fact that it is now stuck in my head. From a musical standpoint, it's just a simple R&B formula, but there are enough layers to it to stay interesting. You know, a catchy chorus, some ambient background vocals, infectious, sultry rhythm, oh and did I mention the girl dancing to it?

I know what you're saying right now. It's really obvious that this whole "Obama Girl" thing was just a ploy for fame on Ms. Ettinger's part. I say yeah, so? It's actually relevant to politics in the same way that SNL and Jay Leno are. It's not that she was trying to influence votes or anything, just that she was trying to entertain the masses.

And she does it well. The video has good camerawork (obviously a red-blooded human being behind that camera).

So she's got some applicable, entertaining, lighthearted videos. She's got legs from here to the next county. And it's obvious that she's actually very intelligent and well-informed, with a wicked sense of timing. And she carries herself well, with that same air Daisy Duke had.

So really, why can't the line be "I've got a crush on Obama Girl"?